Dear Diary….
03 January…
My head is pounding… my ears are ringing… and that infernal alarm clock didn’t help. Is it really the third today… the last thing I remember is counting down from 10… there were fireworks… or it may have been my head exploding… I’m not sure…
Is it really the third… I’ve missed two whole days….
I’m never drinking again…
04 January…
Back at work… my head is still ringing… my breath smells like a bar on a Saturday night… I can barely focus. That must have been one hell of a party… if only I could remember.
06 January…
I don’t need to remember… there are embarrassing pictures of me all over Instagram. My in-laws saw those pictures… I’m going teetotal.
08 January…
I’ve been back at work for three days… when did my clients get so annoying? I need a drink… I swear my head and stomach just protested at the thought. I guess I can take a break until February.
15 January…
How many days does this month have? I feel like my stomach is about to explode with all this sparkling water I’ve been downing.
18 January…
OMG Saturday TV is so boring without beer… when did stand up comedians stop being funny?
20 January…
Dinner with the in-laws… was Roger always so boring? Does the man really find drywall that fascinating… and as for Trixie… my ears can no longer listen to that shrill laugh without some sort of alcoholic libation.
23 January…
I just got my monthly Whisky World Newsletter. What is this? Some kind of sadistic torture? Give a prisoner a taste of freedom and snatch it away… show a starving man some food and snatch it away… give a blind man… oh wait… hang on a minute… this is interesting.
01 February…
January is over… and I’m not celebrating… at least not with a beer. I would never have imagined that non-alcoholic spirits would be just the tonic. Those Seedlip Spirits are quite something. Sensational, smooth in a variety of flavours, makes my sparkling water taste that much better. And Penny has definitely appreciated my inventiveness in creating mocktails using Fruit Lagoon cocktail bases. We’ve created virgin Strawberry Daiquiris and fashioned a pregnancy friendly Mojito using tonic water with a splash of lemon instead of rum. Now we can watch TV together without her eyeing my drink in jealous frustration… just as long as I am in charge of the remote. I’m not drinking… no way am I watching one of her cheesy dramas without a beer in my hand.
And we have had a fair few giggles using Kedem Sparkling Grape Juice as a drinking game every time Uncle Sal said “alright darlin’” during his weekend visit. We went through a lot of Grape Juice. Good job it comes in a few flavours.
Maybe this abstinence thing isn’t so bad… perhaps I can go another month.
On the other hand… Valentine’s Day is coming up… The Whisky World is bound to have some special offers… just in time to wet the baby’s head…. Oh and to show Penny I love her… of course.